Cibai starting work next week............I should be really happy right? Because I was goddamn worried that I couldnt get a job, but now I have a career because I ALWAYS wanted to work in this line. Of course, I have to keong kan korban other things in order to like what I do. I am not sure if I will really like this job, give it try, if I dont I wont know right? But also there is this position in another line I am dying like DYING to do, hoping the company will hire me. Wish me luck babes.

It took me a long time to complete this puisi as when I first broke up, I had a love-hate relationship with this puisi, it was written with a lot of sadness, tears, anger and of course full of hatred and depression, I wanted so much to burn this puisi that meant so much to me yet build a cage that might not be visible but a true sorrowness that only if one has experienced it, will know.


Dunia menjadi saksi
Kau meracun hatiku ini
Seketika cuma daku mengerti
Kepedihannya terasa begini -
Seperti jin mencuri jiwaku, bertunduk malu kekasih jin menelan hatiku
Hidupku kini bagai didalam keranda kayu
Sayu, tiada lagi kepercayaan tersendiri

Apa daya
Sekelip mata kau berubah
Apakah kita hanya teman tapi mesra
Seperti satu irama yang tidak dapat digubah
Aneh,
Ku terpedaya, terpukau dengan lakonanmu
Ternyata terang kau warnai hatiku - kelabu

Di bak mandi ku merendam rasa
Tak mungkinku melupakan
Sebegini pengalaman
Terlalu istimewa untuk dilepaskan
Terlalu seksa untuk dilafazkan
Terlalu setia untuk disingkirkan
Inilah realiti
Segalanya tinggal memori
Naluri hatiku berkata
Hapuskanlah semua selamanya
Terpaksa ku fahami
Tempatkau bukanlah disini

My interview was great and unexpected, created quite a stir in my pussy, well not like its wetting me but it was so refreshing and exciting this whole job idea thing that I am hoping to work for this company. Oh, the babes are taking me for a short trip. Can't wait to see you babes, trust me I am more excited to see all of you together than the destination itself. I will attempt on a longer entry next time. Ta!

I have an interview in LCCT tomorrow. Cibai. I mean this is not my first interview after being jobless for weeks but I am still a bit nervous. I just hope that I bloody get a job before August comes because as I experienced over the years, August has always been fantastic to me and I dont't want to fornicating fido August this year. Me and August we always create great history. Not porn-like history that's for sure. So I've been eating, sleeping, going for short trips basically doing nothing over the past few weeks. How blissful, how unproductive but I fucking like it. I am feeling it - this emancipation that I've been anticipating.

Since I am so jobless free, I've been checking Sarah Brightman's boobs. Don't ask me why of all things but at least I think her voice is bigger than her boobies. I don't care if I gross you out its just my porn-like humble opinion. Sometimes being jobless it will make you think and do strange things. Other than Sarah Brightman's boobies, I actually attended my cuntsin's wedding. Being jobless is cibai keong kan emotional, its like another side of me surfaces - I cried at her wedding. Because she looked so virgin angel like beautiful. And that I cannot look like that in my Wedding day, I feel so kesian my mother in law already. Dear dumb blog, I hope my jobless period disaster will go away soon, I cannot seem to tolerate this twisting dramatic cocklicking episode of my jobless life.

I need to find peace with everything. I always never try to understand the pendatang asing especially the Indians and Banglas - how they work and the way they fucking couldnt careless to communicate with you. I always never want to layan my dysfunctional family. I always never want to stop swearing and cursing your momma, your pappa, your sista, your brodda and your dog. Tell me someone, how do you define peace? Is it so cibai hard to have it this thing called peace?