I am fucking pissed and cannot understand how I can do this job for two and a half years and the company is messing up with the working schedule. I AM NOT A BANGLA WORKER okie. Cibai, i think i feel so much better shouting it here.

I called my now slimmer computer guy last Sunday morning checking to see what is the damage and how is it going to damage my last season Esprit purse, I am internetless and I am already fidgeting, craving for ice cream, finished the last drop of my Bailey’s and it is horrifying the way I drink because mum poured the Bailey’s thinking as if it is kopi peng I tell you, full glass and I bottoms up the bloody mat salleh kopi peng.

B : Whatever it is, just help me to backup all okie? They are very very important.

Computer guy: I will try my best. Not sure if I can do it because your system is half gone.

Fuck. Fuck. And Fuck. I wanted to tell him that if he can backup even 90 percent of my data, I swear I will take him to Uptown. Oh dear dumb blog you do not even want me to tell you where Uptown is and what this place can really really turn you into a - first class Jinjang Joe or Jane – damn electrifying disaster, culture shocking kinda way for self torture entertainment. Uptown is a Chinaman pub with a Hong Kong actor lookalike deejay that spins “Final Countdown” remix better than Benny Benassi’s playlist, waitresses that will drink with everyone in da house, also a Chinese Band that plays for a funeral. I know my computer guy will like it for sure. Elok kan?

After talking to him, I started to calculate silently if I can afford to buy a new desktop or a notebook because I’ve been spending on my expected expenses and unexpected carelessness;

1. Polis Diraja Malaysia sent my 7th summon this year for speeding along this cibai Sg.Nibong
2. 3 kanneh unpaid illegal parking summon.
3. My Milo – tin car has been visiting my mechanic regularly due to unknown reasons
4. My short getaways every now and then
5. The upcoming Penang Island Jazz festival for two days
6. Christmas shopping

Teruks - Christmas is just around the corner. I am near to tears now because as I typed I also realized that I promised Scully boy I will be going to Kayell to see him too. I am in an ocean of fire.

Mum, I will listen to you now, I will be a good girl and will do what you’ve always wanted me to do.

Walk down the aisle. To an old rotten cock that belongs to a rich man.

Am at work now and mum just called to tell me my favourite computer guy has lost a lot of his excess bulge. I didn’t know that is so important for me to know at 9 am in the morning. I will be internetless again as my now slimmer computer guy took my cpu away for a repair. I shudder at the thought of it, my slimmer computer guy has been improving from girls and to his new image and I actually cibai gain 2 kilos within a month.

Anyways I am less buzy now…..no more performances, peter has gone back to Ireland, met up with people I have to see, celebrated Xtine’s birthday, running errands and yada yada yada.

I feel like something is missing too. But what the cibai is that?

I hate my job. I want to smoke more.
I hate myself. I want to drink more.
I hate my boobs. They are bigger than my pay cheque.
I hate people who are like me. I want to be alone.

I miss the chocolates in Melbourne. But I hate the aussies.
I miss loving someone badly. I cannot love myself all the time.

I will never like my customers. They are a better bitch than I am.
I will never want to be a woman in my next life. Woman would love me as a man.

I am anxious when the night falls. I can never sleep at night.
I am even anxious when the sun rises. No one whispers good morning to me.

I think I love the sun. I know I can eat ice - cream.
I think I love to travel. I am like a nomad.
I think I will just go away for a little while. Will be back with more senses.

Tomorrow is THE DAY. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I am so nervous. To actually perform live on stage tomorrow people I need alcohol.
WhenI was in the studio with the band I felt like a freakazoid, these people are really really really good. And of course kind to me too.

I know I won't rock on stage but I hope the crowd there would rock with the music.

I've been with the band for days and hours that I am so fucking exhausted. Dear dumb blog, I still have to attend social events and make time for myself and things, damn who wants to be a rockstar, well i don't.

Yes Obama has won. He is facing a new challenge now, to deliver what he promised to the mat sallehs during his campaign. Can he do that this first black leader? Welfare - what about that - he didn't emphasize much on that?

Okie I was supposed to go to booze island but because I've got band practice in a studio at the same time I urged the babes to go there without me. *heavy sigh* so yes they are going without me.........but then again it is definitely fine because as usual my weekend is taking on a roller coaster ride. Ah, I am going to Haadyai tomorrow.

Yes.
I know.
Again.

Just for a day. Am going with the boys so I can imagine their evil fantasies in my head now.

One of the boys told me this, 'Massage yes? We always go to this place, you can choose the girls and it is not the em sah em see.' So basically he is saying that we are not patronizing to any of the whore house. Thank God. Whore house in Haadyai is like a haunted house. REALLY. The girls there no wait correction - the whores there look so ghastly and inactive all the time and you won't know if you are fucking a horny ghost or just another human prostitute - well this is all made in Thailand.

T h i n k y o u k n o w T h a i l a n d ? A s k m e :D