The Disturbing Tale of STDs

Stressed to Death that is – not Sexual Transmitted Disease la. That’s how I’m feeling over the weekend but now with this new drug invention, I am Steam to Death. The pills given earlier from the Doctor were a complete failure. Look Doctor, we both know I need a pill that is to die for.

Bee: I still can’t sleep
Doctor: If this new pill doesn’t work, we have to work on your lifestyle

Move over valium, introducing Imovane :

Apparently this Imovane is a new drug on the block, it works faster, stronger and hotter. Yeah, hotter as in I fucking sweat a lot. I couldn’t wake up earlier, mum thought I was dead. Fanfuckingtastic, I can’t believe I got XPS – Xtreme Power Sleep finally.

However, the bloody Doctor didn’t mention about the side effects. I was bleeding profusely, nauseating and of course sweating like Howard X. Leh mah who cares?

Was feeling unwell and mentally paralyzed today and I made an appointment to see my doctor. Told him my condition and this is how it went:

Doctor : You are depressed.
Bee: Oh, that bad?
Doctor: You know in this world, you have to be thick skin at times?
Bee: So is it okie to still drink?
Doctor: Come back to me 3 days later if you didn't notice any changes, will get you stronger pills.
Bee: I will. I just don't like the side effects part.

Give a dollar to a small girl and she will buy herself a lolly

Imagine this – you are feeling depressed and dejected and time is the only way to actually mend it. If that is how it should go, then what do you do during that “time” when depression decided to take over you completely? To make things worst, I’m writing this in a wrong place and at the wrong time. Cibai case.

Of late I’ve been through a non – ecstasy and instability moment of my life. I’ve become very inert, my thoughts became insignificant and my responsibility is no longer an issue to me. I’m so unlike him who on the other can hand hold his composure and move on effortlessly after what happened.

I’ve become terrified to step out from my own fundamental character. But X is ahead of “time” – going out with another available hot individual and each day is just another day for him. It has come to the stage where things that I do are no longer solid or making any sense that I have to humourize with it. For now, I need hardcore booze for the next few days, go for pleasure skinny dipping and indulging in an extreme ice cream diet that will shock my lingerie – all in that order. Cibais and lanchiaos, feel free to share it with me. Strangers are welcome – just that you don’t have to be that strange okie?

Plus I got :

1. Howard X around which is great
2. Pauletta that has been trying to get me sober
3. Kenneth T that has been trying to get me drunk
4. D that is always asking for my well being each time on net

Pauline: It is expected to happen. This is life. It is okie.
Bee: I get what you mean, it's like you rape a virgin and you can't give back her virginity.

Intoxication vs detoxification

I had a a slump weekend two weeks ago. Disciplining myself to ignore vodka and redbull was a catastrophic attempt. Tolerating to have an un-alcoholic weekend is like to have a special talent - I have to :


1. Pressurize myself to drink just the REDBULL
2. Drink redbull and imagine it is VODKA and REDBULL
3. Hang out with my gay friends to drink gay drinks
4. Imagine VODKA and REDBULL are like prozac (expired stuff)


You should be asking why would my very first entry didn't like start off with Once upon a time........
Reason is I haven't been sleeping well so i figured i need to do write the fcuk out of it. Not a single living thing helps - my friends weren't that smart 'till they came up with the notion of my sleeping disorder:


1. Too much of VODKA and REDBULL
2. Too much of VODKA and REDBULL
3. Too much of VODKA and REDBULL
4. and of course, too much of VODKA and REDBULL


Damn, they make me feel like i smell like a whorehouse which I think i should be illegal by now. So I decided to ask my mum instead. Trust me, my mum is a better bitch than I am and drinks more coffee than I do.


B : Ah mee, I can't sleep. It has been going for weeks.
Mum: Of course lah. Lack of alcohol consumption.
B: Leh mah. You mean I should be inebriated by now?
Mum: Don't you think you always make better decisons when you are intoxicated?


I didn't even know she is my mum 'till she said that. Her reverse psychology works like feeding Britney with crack. I had caffeine as a bizzare detox and it worked, I didn't even sniff on Vodka and Redbull and had a good sleep over that weekend.

Pauletta - you reckon I should still blog now that I am sober enough to sleep?