I called my now slimmer computer guy last Sunday morning checking to see what is the damage and how is it going to damage my last season Esprit purse, I am internetless and I am already fidgeting, craving for ice cream, finished the last drop of my Bailey’s and it is horrifying the way I drink because mum poured the Bailey’s thinking as if it is kopi peng I tell you, full glass and I bottoms up the bloody mat salleh kopi peng.

B : Whatever it is, just help me to backup all okie? They are very very important.

Computer guy: I will try my best. Not sure if I can do it because your system is half gone.

Fuck. Fuck. And Fuck. I wanted to tell him that if he can backup even 90 percent of my data, I swear I will take him to Uptown. Oh dear dumb blog you do not even want me to tell you where Uptown is and what this place can really really turn you into a - first class Jinjang Joe or Jane – damn electrifying disaster, culture shocking kinda way for self torture entertainment. Uptown is a Chinaman pub with a Hong Kong actor lookalike deejay that spins “Final Countdown” remix better than Benny Benassi’s playlist, waitresses that will drink with everyone in da house, also a Chinese Band that plays for a funeral. I know my computer guy will like it for sure. Elok kan?

After talking to him, I started to calculate silently if I can afford to buy a new desktop or a notebook because I’ve been spending on my expected expenses and unexpected carelessness;

1. Polis Diraja Malaysia sent my 7th summon this year for speeding along this cibai Sg.Nibong
2. 3 kanneh unpaid illegal parking summon.
3. My Milo – tin car has been visiting my mechanic regularly due to unknown reasons
4. My short getaways every now and then
5. The upcoming Penang Island Jazz festival for two days
6. Christmas shopping

Teruks - Christmas is just around the corner. I am near to tears now because as I typed I also realized that I promised Scully boy I will be going to Kayell to see him too. I am in an ocean of fire.

Mum, I will listen to you now, I will be a good girl and will do what you’ve always wanted me to do.

Walk down the aisle. To an old rotten cock that belongs to a rich man.