It’s apparent that I got back and amazingly alive from Haadyai. Strange feelings can confound you. Stranger still is how we depend almost completely on our feelings to perceive things and to understand better and more often to analyze what’s right and what’s not. The short trip has built it’s foundation in me in a way that it somehow undresses me to look at things in a more naked approach now. Melodramatic way of saying it I partially agree with you but give me some credit. I mean would you want to go back to a place that has robbed your sense of security or to a person that has murdered your happiness? It takes cibai courage to do so.

Thank you for instilling sunshine in me because I feel more relax, less uglier too. I apologize for complete silence these couple of days as I’ve been buzy and I am getting used to being the old me which is of course fanfuckingtastic. I was reading Chris’s blog and she stressed on how we have to make our own decision in life – no such a person or a visible thing should control or decide your choice in life. Damn jiwang topic she covered basically. I reckon we are dealing with endless harshness each day.

Her topic made me stumbled over my quandary – my quandary is not a fascination to all of you but it fascinates me how I actually dealt with it. I just let things be although the scenario is lying to you its not – that how I did it. To forget things, a person has a new toy. To move on, a person would play with the toy. I don’t know if I can do that - eh I must ask my non-straight homies. Because once you forget and move on, can you forgive and forget? To forgive and forget it is not your everyday routine. For an example if a person has been lying about his situation to you when you know that whatever he said is not true, can you forgive and forget? And that person has been lying to you would look deeply to the eyes of his new toy and can only truly see his new toy or can he somehow see you too – to see the lies he has been giving, to see that how selfish he can be, to see life in an exact way you see it?