I made a girl cried today at work. What da fuck. She is a nice girl. I am not. But dear fucko blog, I swear I didn't like yell or show my 'pissed' face at her - non of my nefarious acts at all. So what happened was I just asked her if she has yet to contact this customer. Maybe I sounded as if i am gnashing my teeth or was about to pounce on her because she looked at me, whispered a yes, nodded her head, ran to the toilet and came out crying. And I just asked if she did attend to that customer. I felt bad and did apologize to her *shrugs* I really need a Stout today right after work.

I am fucking pissed and cannot understand how I can do this job for two and a half years and the company is messing up with the working schedule. I AM NOT A BANGLA WORKER okie. Cibai, i think i feel so much better shouting it here.

I called my now slimmer computer guy last Sunday morning checking to see what is the damage and how is it going to damage my last season Esprit purse, I am internetless and I am already fidgeting, craving for ice cream, finished the last drop of my Bailey’s and it is horrifying the way I drink because mum poured the Bailey’s thinking as if it is kopi peng I tell you, full glass and I bottoms up the bloody mat salleh kopi peng.

B : Whatever it is, just help me to backup all okie? They are very very important.

Computer guy: I will try my best. Not sure if I can do it because your system is half gone.

Fuck. Fuck. And Fuck. I wanted to tell him that if he can backup even 90 percent of my data, I swear I will take him to Uptown. Oh dear dumb blog you do not even want me to tell you where Uptown is and what this place can really really turn you into a - first class Jinjang Joe or Jane – damn electrifying disaster, culture shocking kinda way for self torture entertainment. Uptown is a Chinaman pub with a Hong Kong actor lookalike deejay that spins “Final Countdown” remix better than Benny Benassi’s playlist, waitresses that will drink with everyone in da house, also a Chinese Band that plays for a funeral. I know my computer guy will like it for sure. Elok kan?

After talking to him, I started to calculate silently if I can afford to buy a new desktop or a notebook because I’ve been spending on my expected expenses and unexpected carelessness;

1. Polis Diraja Malaysia sent my 7th summon this year for speeding along this cibai Sg.Nibong
2. 3 kanneh unpaid illegal parking summon.
3. My Milo – tin car has been visiting my mechanic regularly due to unknown reasons
4. My short getaways every now and then
5. The upcoming Penang Island Jazz festival for two days
6. Christmas shopping

Teruks - Christmas is just around the corner. I am near to tears now because as I typed I also realized that I promised Scully boy I will be going to Kayell to see him too. I am in an ocean of fire.

Mum, I will listen to you now, I will be a good girl and will do what you’ve always wanted me to do.

Walk down the aisle. To an old rotten cock that belongs to a rich man.

Am at work now and mum just called to tell me my favourite computer guy has lost a lot of his excess bulge. I didn’t know that is so important for me to know at 9 am in the morning. I will be internetless again as my now slimmer computer guy took my cpu away for a repair. I shudder at the thought of it, my slimmer computer guy has been improving from girls and to his new image and I actually cibai gain 2 kilos within a month.

Anyways I am less buzy now…..no more performances, peter has gone back to Ireland, met up with people I have to see, celebrated Xtine’s birthday, running errands and yada yada yada.

I feel like something is missing too. But what the cibai is that?

I hate my job. I want to smoke more.
I hate myself. I want to drink more.
I hate my boobs. They are bigger than my pay cheque.
I hate people who are like me. I want to be alone.

I miss the chocolates in Melbourne. But I hate the aussies.
I miss loving someone badly. I cannot love myself all the time.

I will never like my customers. They are a better bitch than I am.
I will never want to be a woman in my next life. Woman would love me as a man.

I am anxious when the night falls. I can never sleep at night.
I am even anxious when the sun rises. No one whispers good morning to me.

I think I love the sun. I know I can eat ice - cream.
I think I love to travel. I am like a nomad.
I think I will just go away for a little while. Will be back with more senses.

Tomorrow is THE DAY. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I am so nervous. To actually perform live on stage tomorrow people I need alcohol.
WhenI was in the studio with the band I felt like a freakazoid, these people are really really really good. And of course kind to me too.

I know I won't rock on stage but I hope the crowd there would rock with the music.

I've been with the band for days and hours that I am so fucking exhausted. Dear dumb blog, I still have to attend social events and make time for myself and things, damn who wants to be a rockstar, well i don't.

Yes Obama has won. He is facing a new challenge now, to deliver what he promised to the mat sallehs during his campaign. Can he do that this first black leader? Welfare - what about that - he didn't emphasize much on that?

Okie I was supposed to go to booze island but because I've got band practice in a studio at the same time I urged the babes to go there without me. *heavy sigh* so yes they are going without me.........but then again it is definitely fine because as usual my weekend is taking on a roller coaster ride. Ah, I am going to Haadyai tomorrow.

Yes.
I know.
Again.

Just for a day. Am going with the boys so I can imagine their evil fantasies in my head now.

One of the boys told me this, 'Massage yes? We always go to this place, you can choose the girls and it is not the em sah em see.' So basically he is saying that we are not patronizing to any of the whore house. Thank God. Whore house in Haadyai is like a haunted house. REALLY. The girls there no wait correction - the whores there look so ghastly and inactive all the time and you won't know if you are fucking a horny ghost or just another human prostitute - well this is all made in Thailand.

T h i n k y o u k n o w T h a i l a n d ? A s k m e :D

Waiting for Xtine to pick me up for dinner. Band practice again later, i can't wait for it to be over as I am under pressure now. Anyways I am glad with the new role at work, I do not have to work on weekends anymore...ain't that fanfuckingtastic - officially starting this week *shaking me ass*

There are so many events jamming up in the month of October..........
I am really buzy this month and as you can see I have no time to update my blog. Midnight now - and it is telling me I am missing out on Halloween which is officially today because I am just damn buzy to attend any Halloween events.

Fuck! Oh, thank god I managed to whore with the Oktoberfest event. *happy sigh*

Oktoberfeasting with friends, beers and Jelloshots!



For Halloween, I am already planning to go as Betty Suarez from Ugly Betty and I always wanted to be a Latina with geeky glasses. *shrugs* But because I have a band practice for the weekend, I have to put my Betty's gear aside. For you babes that are trying to reach me, do not give me the "frowning" faces, I will get back to you once I am slightly free - I am really that occupied. Looking at the time now, my heart is beating faster - please tell me it is a panic attack symptom so that I do not have to go to work in like 4 hours time. Yes babes I have to be work at 5am sharp. Still dreaming of Betty's gear......... Betty in her costume for her HELLoween!

taken from wireimage.com

Babes, Happy Halloween! Love you guys and the month of October!

Saturday morning - what a perfect weather to hang out by the beach. Going to pick Flo up and it is gonna be a chillex day in Sunset Bistro. I love my weekend - heck it's gonna be a hectic one too!

Can't wait to pack my stuff and leave my anxiety here in Penang as I am going to Langkawi in two weeks time. At least I will be away from this miserable island to another booze island, hey I wonder if they have like ready made jello shots? hhhmmmmmmm

St Paul's and The Venetian Macau

The ruins of St Paul’s (Sam Ba Sing Tzik) – one of the greatest churches in Macau had a history of its own, well known by all and it is recognized by the UNESCO World Heritage Site. St Paul’s church embellishment is an extraordinary combination of east meets west – the cravings on the façade were beautifully craved and well portrayed on the walls amazingly after many, many years.
The ruins were restored into a museum by the Macanese government and it is well maintained and protected. As it is situated on top of a small hill right in the center of the city hence it is easy to locate. Mapless, we discovered St Paul’s by accident and the images / cravings / statues on the façade were rather mesmerizing – Virgin Mary and saints, an angel and the devil, Chinese dragon, a Portuguese sailing ship and Chinese characters can be seen too. Complex but brilliant carving from the Europeans, Japanese and Chinese back then.

Go Here. Go loco. The Venetian Macao is the largest casino in the world - stunningly well designed and very much exquisite too, the features and structures of this place is dramatically styled - like Venice but with a bit of asian panache, resulting a reputation by its own. Famous entertainers like Beyonce, The Pussycat Dolls and Celine Dion are scheduled to perform end of this year in this casino. This portrays how Vegas The Venetian Macao can exhibit. Here, the Venetian Macau is like a circus – not only it offers 3000 suites for the high rollers but there are also glitzy and trendy food and beverage outlets, lounges, entertainment and sports arena and of course the unrivalled selections of gambling options that can put the Vegas casinos to sleep . Oh, less intelligent expatriates too can be seen working in this casino mostly from Australia, Italy and France aggressively wiping out the locals. For this reason, living costs in Macau continues to increase.

the surreal painted ceiling, the Venetian shops and the river resembling Venice

the less intelligent expats / Gondoliers waiting for customers

to cruise with the Gondola

mum and dad

After the Venetian Macau, we were rushing off to Hong Kong - will post that up soon.

I symbolize vulgarism?

Mum said my blog is too violent and explicit due to my flowery swear words and that people can tell that I am wildly bitter, extremely stressed and not in control person. *middle finger* Am I scaring you babes? Even if I am, do you even care? Well, we both don't. I mean tell me, do you really care what people think of you or how they judge you, tell me if that really matters? If it matters, why? And if it is not an issue, why too? Once upon a time I used to be a damn bodoh happy person and of course I didn't live happily ever after because something called r e a l i t y kicks in *fuck* and I have to deal things in a more un-disney way where I do not give a fuck even if you give a fuck.

Tell me do you like what you see in the mirror? A friend told me and Bob only yesterday saying that she refuses to look at the mirror unless she really has to. She thinks that she looks fat each time she looks at the mirror. Evertime I look at the mirror I tell myself I needed a new mirror. Do you think the mirror will tell you the truth or you choose what you want to see in the mirror?

I am at home - it is Friday night and apart from suffering from a sleeping disorder, I am slightly distressed. Went online and Bob was online too. We talked about dark secrets and were like "Fuuccckkkkkk thiissss and fuucckkkkk thaatttt".

Partial of our msn chat

BOB says:
dont worry
BOB says:
lets hope someone dies tmr
BOB says:
maybe it might be sumone u hateaint tht cool?

Dear dumb blog, I haven't been sleeping. Again. This is crucial. My nicotine, caffeine and booze addiction trust me, do not contribute to this. As you all know, I am no stranger to sleeping pills - heavy dose or not, I do not want to tolerate with the 'steamy mode' each morning - it feels like a dumbfuck is trying to drown you to death. What do you people do when you can't sleep?

Macau is like this......

Macau is not as Chinese as you think it is, really. We went to Macau first before going over to Hong Kong – approximately 65 km across the Pearl River Delta. Macau – the mainland itself and two small islands (Taipa and Coloane) is tiny but amazingly booming and very much resembling Las Vegas but also filled with nostalgic Portuguese history.

First stop. First drink.
The almost 4 hour’s flight from Malaysia to Hong Kong was painful, I drank not-so-good alcohols in the cabin and it is nauseating. Once in Hong Kong Airport, we took the ferry transfer to Macau, our first stop. Upon arriving in Macau, I can’t help but to think that Macau’s budaya is perplexing – I can smell the greed of this emerging city despite the humble urbanization.

The amount of tourists that are sharing the same boat with me are mostly from China, these are the wealthy but uncivilized Chinese

that ordered Heineken on boat and made me had one too......................cibai!

The name of the streets and restaurants are all in Portuguese although the Macanese speaks mostly Mandarin and limited English. Macau is cultured, modern and not inexpensive. Macau unexpectedly embraces it all - museums, temples, forts and Portuguese majestic buildings.

A Pharmacy with a sign saying, 'Medicine no fakes'. Wrong prescription expected.

This is taken inside the free shuttle bus. If you look closely - the sign says, 'Please do not talk to driver when the bus is in motion'. *shrug*


streets of macau

One night in Sintra Hotel A non casino hotel in the main street of Macau, just a five minute walk from a more bling bling casino hotel – the Grand Lisboa. Sintra Hotel is funky but quiet, a place to spot the Blacks and Asians with mat salleh’s accent. Best place to have your one night stand I guess. Nonetheless it is an ideal place as it is located in the middle of Macau. Hotel Sintra is only a three star hotel and it is shown here in the map. Does this explain the plentiful foreigners in this hotel? One question for mum - why this hotel?

What to eat your lungs out. I was addicted to Macau’s egg tart. This Macau-style egg tarts smell like a buttery pandan wrapped with lotus. The top of the pastry is slightly baked, creating the outer layer crisp firm and soft, custard-y and milky in the inside. You must be insane if you do not give this a try. It's a Macau standard.

My dad didn't look exactly thrilled telling us this is the where we can get the famous Macau egg tarts from. Pastelaria Koi Kei is infact one of the best place to get freshly baked egg tarts.

Drink what the locals drink. Tea. With milk. Although it is more popular amongst the Hongkies in Hong Kong, the tea here in Macau is milkier I tell you their tea is aromatic and so good that it might have to do with the traces of banned industrial chemical. So what - this teh cina dilarang is ecstatic!

Everyone loves this for sure

Macau’s street food. Best balls I’ve ever tasted would be Macau’s curry chicken balls. Lusty, delicious and melt in your mouth kinda thing. I had to do my salacious lick and pop the balls into my mouth and I didn’t know I like balls that much. Wow, the warm and alien taste of this kay lanpa (chicken balls) memang cekap.

Will post on The Venetian Macau next babes. My cibai cacat camera cannot do clear night flash photos so I ain't showing any of the night scenes of Macau.

I do not usually share my work issues here but please dear dumb blog I need to tell you this - I never like my customers, if only I can fling them off board like this, trust me I will be a very happy cunt. There is this saying either you have a fling with your customer or you fling them off to a better place. Being a sympathetic bitch I chose the second one.


travel.msn.com

Been a buzy week no wait - months already I reckon? I got a couple of things to blog but just not now, my internet at home has failed me again because it seems everything I touch sure cacat. First it was my mobile, people thought I was supertulansensitive that I didn't get back to them. Second it was my room tv - it went all black on me. Next it was my car. So I decided to stay in and go online, well guess what - I cannot connect to the internet. Looking for me? Just shoutout here, in the facebook or email me at work. I errr need this for now :



epicurious.com

Meet the Monk

I almost had a panic attack the other day in an Indian temple. Peter tricked me into following him to this Indian temple to visit this monk that can read your fortune by giving him your birth date.

I was fuckfuriosing mad because we were supposed to go for a jog not to get my past and present life scan from an unknown person. This monk is capable of conversing in malay and English clumsily resulting a smile on Peter’s white bun face and me not smiling. That is also because my cousin did not share the same tragedy with me – read to find out babes.

I was not smiling the entire time because this monk looked at me as if I am a sad occasion. Monk / Fortune Teller, please don’t do this to me because it is Peter’s fault I am here, I do not even want to know you.

Monk: Can I have your birth date?
B: Two days after Peter’s
Monk: Oh that is not er really good...
clears my throat
Monk: You ah don’t have boyfriend kah
B: Er no
Monk: But why...tak ade kah?
maleh asking me why..cibai

Monk: Eh you boleh jadi orang punya mistress tahu. And ah when a man sees your face, they won’t like you, you know. Because you punya face like snake. U l a r. So ah it is poisonous you know. Men don’t like.

Tsk tsk. Me a snake lady. How can that be – the last time I checked my parents are not reptiles.

Jada.fitch

Monk: Your hair why you cut like that coming down *touching his hairless head* (what he meant was my hair actually slants down, razor short at the back) No good. No good.
I didn’t cut it; my hairstylist did it you Monk-eyface! Dear dumb blog, condemning my hair or keeping his reputation is more environmentally imperative? I was waiting for him to comment that I can be a porn star with this abnormal hairstyle.

The tension between me and the monk was so interesting that when Peter was motioning me to leave, the monk politely rejected my red dollar bill to him and sympathize me loudly, ‘It is okie lah girl tak pe – I know you got no money.’ I wanted to squeeze the blood out of him but perhaps that is the best evidence to conclude that he is for real? My cousin somehow sensed my exasperation and I am glad he didn’t call or text me for several days.

Next time he calls, I am taking him to a snake farm. Oh, with the monk too.

Knowing that my blog is dumb and can't get any bitchier, I decided to change my blog name to as you can see B writes with style, oh well not that it is really WITH or in style *meek smile* but well if you guys are reading it so far, I guess all is good.

Dumb blog let me tell you I am so geram with this book I am reading. I think i should occupied myself with other materials for sure. I mean I have neglected blogging just to finish reading my books and this book written by Robert Raymer is making me very pissed. Imagine a book can actually make me pissed.

I am not the world's buziest person, just been away internetless for a couple of months - that I know. Catching up with friends that I thought were dead, connecting emotionally with both old horror prodigy books and new glitzy paperbacks that are so addictive and of course sorting out the rumbles of my personal anxiety.

I know I am supposed to blog about my Hong Kong trip - again I do not have time to post it accordingly. Guess I need to make time next week - right after my trip to Kuching. Babes, it is the Sarawak Rainforest Music Festival this time around. Am leaving tomorrow. Hugs!

On a lighter note, I had a love affair with Hong Kong. My next post would covered the bits and pieces of Hong Kong and Macau– the smell of the emotionless city, the taste of almost exotic food and the strangeness rush of the Hongkies.

Pretty Poison

My hands are warm. It’s been a long time since my hands are warm. Anyone that has touched my hands before would know the coldness and the emptiness of it. The lack of warmth and the warmness that I always long for. The absence of an affectionate human touch I dare say. Like a pretty poison, my hands need a lover not a friend. Que pasa warm now?

I haven't been writing for a long time because time has not allowed me to. Will update soon. Right after my Hong Kong trip as I am leaving tomorrow. Hugs all!

Rats as Pets

My parents are rockstars and I do not know if any of you can be their groupie. Their recent escapade to Haadyai rocks I guess, because they came back with these:

A new home for the homeless-evil-alienated-even a leaf eating rat-that-got-away. The fact that they actually bought TWO houses for the rats all the way from Thailand suggests they have grown to compulsively love them or believe that the rats can't decide which house is best for them. Babes, we are looking at a medium size cage here, dad initially wanted a bigger one but his wife decided it is comel-er to buy two incase they are brothers and sisters and incest would be a damage. They were overjoyed and mum went, "Eh I tell you if this Haadyai rat trap ain't working, I am going to buy one in Hong Kong." They happily set up the house with I-am-not-sure-what-kind-of-bait two days ago and the rats are yet to be seen. Naming the rats I promise you guys would be next.

I finally found my folder where I kept a few uproarious pics. Something to entertain you guys........

My friends and I were driving around to locate a massage parlor in Phuket and we came across this massage parlor and the owner name is Bee too but a mistress to this farang (ang moh in Thai). I didn't assume okie, the farang himself was telling me outside the parlor while my friends were getting their rubdown in the parlor.

This is not that entertaining pic you are right but we left the place and came to the other side of the road and saw this :

It is the name of a sleazy rundown Thai bar sardines with katoeys (transvestite in Thai).

This one is in Chulia Street. P and I decided to take photos of Penang heritage in the town area on one hot and sweaty very Nelly Sunday afternoon and this picture is teruks :

A closer look.

Babes, this Yee Hoe taukeh is jinjang kinky - he created a combo of chicks and furnitures, wondering if he refers a dancing pole as a furniture?

Dear overdumb blog, do you miss me? Holiday in Bangkok feels like a road to rapture - as always. It is early Saturday morning now and I can't sleep. Again - shoot me. Pretty sure I am not over exhausted but more like having a holiday hangover. Need something to overshadow this. Not good. Need my brain to work with me as going back to my habitual job is such a bore.

Am going to Bangkok for a holiday this Sunday. Fanfuckingtastic. Panic too as I was so buzy that I am not ready to jet off.

Snacking with Raj

I met Raj in Aratis Villa. Raj was sitting comfortably with his beer. I strode in looking for red wine. It was drink at first sight – for me and Raj . *laughs* The boys like to drink with him too. We shamelessly talk about everything and Raj always charmed me into playing cards with him and the boys. I do not mean to sound like a sui generic elegy of groupie desertion but Raj sells laksa, nyona kuihs, fried popiahs and curry puffs that are mouth-watering and worth standing for beside his bike-stall. Victuals where you can dip into his laksa soup…..that is like an orthodox for sure. You can find him almost everyday after lunch in Fettes Park right opposite of Island Plaza.

I always like the idea of standing beside a food stall to eat – I called it the disco-pure rock odyssey side of me. So I went solo to visit Raj’s food and his bike-stall.

I told Raj the pic is for a magazine - and he berlagak.

Laksa soup with deep fried prawn with flour

Laksa soup with popiah

Got all of Atilia's songs finally

Eric is getting me all of Atilia's songs! He found it. Confirm. I can't wait to put the record on. In the meantime, let me cruise on with Chris Brown's - With You and Alicia Key's Superwoman. People, these two outstanding tracks seduce me like a summer sunset heat and makes me visualizing myself solo with this :

Admit this - bersantai in a mat salleh pondok

and a spine tingling alcoholic drink and sea animals for snacks

Bagai rela
Rembulan menjadi saksi
Debaran hatiku ini
Bukan kenangan biasa daku ingati
Hembusanmu yang bayu kurindui
Apakah arti masa silam bersama
Sering menusuk ke jiwaku

Jika ku memberi senyuman
Apakah kita akan bertentang mata
Apakah kita bisa bermesra
Ku tahu jauh dari nyata dan bukti
Tapi kau bagaikan panglipur lara masa duka

- B -

A place of nostalgic past and a modern twist

Pauline and I love everything in Armenian Street – the bits and pieces of Penang culture. One of the best places to feel passionate in Armenian Street would be Edelweiss Café. I love the Nyonya artistic look of the place as if telling a story of its own, the pre-war tiles, photos on the wall were authentic and creepy, antique collections from clocks to the ice-kacang machine and old lamps *eyes twinkling* were remarkable. It is almost magic – jazz music was played *eyes double twinkling* tracks like It Had to be You, Cheek to Cheek and Stardust. The bar was cozy and the drinks from the bar were like a deadly embrace. Humble note – not a place to dine, food ain’t that yummylicious. I had café Kirsch serves in a glass – a hint of black coffee, egg white and of course Kirsch. Pauline wanted atypical sort of drink – she ordered Edelweiss something Penang Sling, the name of the drink will definitely enticed Khairy.

My sensual seduction drink

The bar with dim lightings......